The Great Outdoors, Mother, the Security Guard, Johnny Depp and a Chocolate Orange!

First of all I have to say this picture of my 'little madam' has absolutely nothing to do wih this blog entry whatsoever but she was basking in a warm spot this morning and insisted on a close-up!,

Well, I finally made it into the outside world today with an 'exciting' trip to the local shops! My mother decided to come along if only to check I'd got my hat and gloves on and to ensure my vest was tucked into my knickers correctly!

It was bitterly cold and the shops were suprisingly empty. I wouldn't normally have derived any pleasure from a freezing shuffle around a supermarket but an enforced week indoors can even put a bit of a silver halo round Tesco's.

Next it was on to the M&S Food Store where my Mother has forged a very meaningful relationship with the security guard! I will explain in case anyone imagines her being chased along the pavement outside the premises (unlikely given her arthritis and a walking speed one notch up from 'stopped').

As you may have gathered she is a force to be reckoned with but has also polished the 'delightful old lady routine' until it squeaks! In this guise she has ensnared this 'mountain' of a young security guard who now happily acts as her 'personal shopper' whenever she goes in. Not only does he actually push her trolley but escorts her over the road to the car whilst carrying her shopping and proffering his arm for support. She loves it and lights up like a little sunbeam as soon as she sets eyes on him......and he likewise!

I have to remind myself that this is the same Mother who, as a passenger, will give lorry drivers the finger if she thinks they're tailgating us on the Motorway and has a line in disapproving looks that could strip paint! I watched her from a distance in M&S today, twisting this 'brick outhouse ' of a man around her little finger and thought 'Respect Mother! - you still got it!' The bubble burst when she caught sight of me and started telling him I'd been poorly and the slightest sniffle always went straight to my chest!

If this Security Gentleman believes he has a 'special' place in her affections he'd be disappointed to see her in action in all the other shops up and down both sides of the A34!

This brief excursion has improved my appetitie and taste buds so I've finally cracked open a Terry's Chocolate Orange. Although normally willing to share any edible goodies I am notoriously mean when it comes the above and only ever offer a piece with the words 'you don't want any of this do you?'. This particular confection is a complete weakness of mine and once opened calls me seductively no matter what I'm doing. I've got some lovely buttons to sort, an opened chocolate orange to intimidate and a piratical Johnny Depp to drool over on the TV so I'd best go and drape myself wantonly on the sofa 'cos there's only so much temptation a girl can deal with at once!

OH's got his copy of Vintage Radio Knobs Monthly, a bottle of Theakston's Old Peculiar and a jar of pickled onions so all's right in his world as well!

'Til next time....